I work
as a writing tutor at my college. If you ignore the sounds of wailing and
gnashing of teeth in the background, it’s a really fun place. There are nerds
galore and people who actually know who Steinbeck and Khaled Hosseini are. One
girl, who will remain nameless (Ester), even hosts Lord of the Ring parties.
Needless to say, I’m among my people.
In this
place full of literature, MLA formatting, and wonder, I enjoy my life and my
job and helping people improve their writing. Most people come out of our
sessions happier than they came in, with that I’m-going-to-die expression wiped
cleanly off their little college faces. Most of the time, people are grateful
for my help. Most of the time, people are glad to hear my words of wisdom, for
teaching them how to fix their writing issues.
Sometimes,
they aren't.
Sometimes,
they think I’m an editor, or a machine, because I’m an English Major. Sure, I
have Super Comma Mistake Vision, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to go through
and mark up every mistake you make. And no, before you try to point it out,
that’s not my job. I’m not an Editing Tutor. I’m a Writing Tutor. I help you write better. As in, I’m not going
to do the work for you.
What’s
that? You don’t want to revise your thesis because the paper is due in two
hours?
Then you
should have come in earlier.
You
think your writing is perfect and you don’t see the need for an organization
revision?
Then
why did your professor send you here?
I’ll
tell you why. Your content has problems. It’s not the commas—though they’re not
flawless, to be sure (no one’s are)—it’s that you don’t give a crap about what
you’re writing, and I can tell. I’m a Word Choice master. I’m picking up on the
“screw you Professor What’s-your-name” context clues.
Now,
let’s try imbuing those context clues in the paper with a more positive message.
This is
a call to respect Tutors, Teachers, and Professors everywhere! If I told you
all the annoying stories I’ve collected in working with/teaching other
students, I’d have you crying, laughing, and feeling guilty.
Hmm. Now there’s a thought.
Agent
00Comma—Tales from the Grammar Front lines—on Thursdays, anyone?
